Ok, as you may or may not have guessed from the previous entry, I am suffering from severe sleep deprivation. I got home after class on Thursday night and all I could think about was how nice it would be to have a tapeworm. Ok, not really "nice" but - here's my the train of thought: I'd just gone to dinner with my darkroom class for our last class of the semester and I've also been trying so hard to eat healthy etc. I was really jealous of all the skinny folks there who could just order milkshakes and whatnot. It just isn't fair. I eat healthier than most people I know and I excercise as much if not more, and yet, I've never been a skinny person. It's definitely part genetic - my Aunt Helen eats nothing but cottage cheese and leafy greens (I'm not even kidding) and she still has a watermelon butt. My dad runs more than 20 miles a week and he still has a beer belly. It's also partly due to my hypothyroidism. Anyway, I was fervently wishing that I could eat whatever I wanted and not gain weight. Thus, tapeworms.

It's not as funny when I explain it, but I felt it necessary lest you think I'm starting some new, bizzare eating disorder trend.

Anyway, its time to catch up. I haven't had time to sit down at a computer in a few days.

To the guy who saw me covered in grease on the shoulder of the road trying desperately to put my bike chain back on and who came over and helped me and even got himself greasy - may god or the diety of your choice bless you a thousand times.

Our last photography class was pretty cool. We do a photo exchange and give one copy of our best photo to all the other class members. It was a serious self-esteem booster for me. Everyone really liked my photo a lot. I got quite a few compliments and a few swoons here and there. It was really cool because I'm just not confident about my photography - especially when I'm in a class with a guy like this.

Friday (yesterday) the only thing I can really recall is having a conversation at work with Lois, our resident MSW. She succeeded in whiping me into a panic about my life in general. She essentially said that if I wanted to ever get married and have kids, I should hurry up and find someone now and make all that happen or else I never would (at least with the kid part). And then she whipped me into a panic about my career as well. I'm trying to go back to complacent satisfaction with my life, but it's not working very well. MOre or less, the issue is that I don't know if I am "in love with" The Boy. I really really like him a lot, but there are certain things about him that make me crazy. So, Lois said that if I wasn't SURE, practically speaking, I should break up with him and try to find someone else, if I hope do the domestic thing. The thing is, a) it took me forever to find anyone to date period - I don't like people easily, and honestly, I'm not my perfect guy's perfect girl and b) I don't want to break up with him - I enjoy his companionship. Hell, I don't know what to do with my life, career-wise or relationship-wise. I know, no one knows what to do with their lives either, but I simply can't sit in this dead-end job forever. I have to make some decisions - instead of refusing to do anything and staying exactly where I am. UGH! Anyway, that occupied most of my Friday.

And Friday night I had four (four!!!) social invitaions - a housewarming party, a girl's night out, a going away party, and a promise to spend time with The Boy. When I called The Boy to see if maybe we could postpone, he just sounded too excited about our dinner plans for me to be able to postpone without feeling horribly guilty. Usually, I don't have a damn thing to do on Friday nights. Usually, I cook dinner at home and listen to This American Life and then maybe go out to a movie or something.

We had dinner at a wonderful little resturaunt on Capital Hill - we will definitely go back.

Anyway, we got back home and he made my bed for me and I crawled under the covers at 9PM. Hurray! Maybe tonight I would finally get more than four hours of sleep! But it was not to be so. I got the worst stomach ache I have ever had. It was so bad, I thought maybe I had appendicitis. It kept me up until midnight.

This morning I woke up five minutes after I was supposed to be at work.

Maybe I'll get some sleep tonight. Here's hoping. If not, you can look forward to more entries about tapeworms and maybe a few about colostomy bags and turpentine and the joys of rubber bands.