PLENTY has happened lately. Unfortunately, I don't have time to do a rundown of what-I-did-for-my-summer-vacation. But I would like to share a little story with you all.

When I was 11, I went to summer camp for the third time. I was a private school girl, and my mom insisted that I stay in good, Christian organizations. I wasn't a member of the Girl Scouts, because they were too "secular," but I was a member of the Pioneer Girls - the church-going sisters of the Girl Scouts. So it was that I atteneded the Pioneer Girls summer camp. I can admit now that I didn't really like summer camp all that much. I mean, it was nice and all that I was there, and sure I got to go fishing, and we sang songs, and I got to go in a pool and sleep in a bunk bed, but it wasn't what I thought it would be. I don't really have any golden memories of Camp Cherith.

That previous school year, fifth grade, had been a pure, unadulterated hell for me. My parents got separated, my best friend from when I was 3 no longer spoke to me, the third graders in my carpool made fun of me on the ride to school and home again every day, no one in my class would let their desk touch mine, and no one would stand next to me in line. I had NO friends that year. Nary a one - save for my cousins, I guess. So, when I got to camp, I was hell-bent on being the "life of the party" - I was going to have SO many friends. That's right. I was going to be POPULAR. (Those of you who know me, may recognize a little theme here - I was also going to be POPULAR when I got out of that private school and joined the public realm in the 8th grade - which is another story...) So, when I got to camp, I made friends very quickly in my cabin. I established myself as the loud, funny girl. I was a commedian. I was going to make you laugh so hard that you peed your pants and snotred milk. And people would love me.

All was going quite well, and I even had an Abbot to my Costello in the cabin - Christine. Oh ho ho! Christine and I were so funny! We did our little commedic routines - funny little dances. We teased our counselor for snoring at night (though she didn't). It all went very well for the first day or so. One afternoon, we were teasing some of our fellow cabin mates. Megan chewed her gum with her mouth open - smacking away, so Christine said "Megan chaws her gum like a HORSE!" We whinnied at her. Ha ha! I couldn't be outdone! I had to say something loud and funny too! I was the loud funny girl! So, then I said "Yeah, and she eats like one too!!!" Ha ha! We laughed.

Until the next day, when the couselor sat us all down and said that she was disappointed in her cabin. She said that some people had been saying some unkind things to each other. Oh no! Who would say bad things about the other girls? That's terrible! I didn't even realize it until she mentioned the specific incident, but of course, she was talking about... me. Apparently my comment about Megan eating like a horse had hurt Megan's feelings very very badly. I felt awful. I was a terrible, terrible person. And Megan didn't even eat like a horse. I was just trying to be funny. I was just trying to get everyone to laugh.

I cried unconsolably all night. Maybe Megan could forgive me, but I could never forgive me. I was the meanest, most horrible, evil-hearted little girl in the whole world. I hardly spoke to anyone for the rest of the week. I couldn't wait to go home.

Why do I bring this up now? Well, I guess because I haven't entirely learned my lesson from that dreadful week at camp. There are things that are more important than being funny and well-liked. There is kindness, honesty, and integrity to name a few. I think that lately, I have been putting myself and my own motives first, and I've lost a lot of self-respect over it. I can see that dreadful little girl from that week at camp peering out from inside. I'm embarassed to say that she's still there... but if I can just get my hands around her little neck... Oh... well I guess that's not very nice either. But she needs to learn her lesson, and learn it well. And to Megan, and all of the other 'Megans' out there, wherever you are, I'm very very sorry.