Maine was soooo wonderful!

I left Seattle on a plane Wednesday night, sleeping very fitfully on the way - awaking with starts, panic attacks about naturalization numbers, visas, passports, and Official Travel Notices that filled my dreams the whole way.

Amy picked me up. That night, we met up with Flora & Eddie in Portland. I haven't seen Flora & Eddie in YEARS - probably since graduation, so it was wonderful to see them again!

The following morning, Amy & I got up bright and early to head off to Lubec where my cousin was getting married. Lubec is the eastern most town in the U.S. and is a six hour drive northeast of Portland. Amy was a super-trooper for taking me up there. We caught up on stuff and listened to Zubair's awe-inspiring mix tapes. Zubair was somewhat famous for his great mixes back in our college days. He has apparently continued making grand mixes into his post-graduate years.

We arrived at my Aunt's house in the early afternoon. My aunt lives on a large peice of land that adjoins a tidal marsh and 80 acres of birch/pine woods. Her house is actually a solar powered log cabin. Water is hand-pumped and the plumbing is non-existent, unless you count outhouses as "plumbing" for some inane reason. She has a huge garden with lots of flowers and vegetables. She raises chickens. She spins her own wool and then weaves it into blankets and other huge projects (and here I've always thought of myself as a semi-bad-ass for knitting things on my own - pah.). I have always thought that Aunt Barbara is one of the coolest damn people in the world.

So we walked into the kitchen, and there we found Aunt Barbara, Aunt Kathy, Great Aunt Elsa, My cousin's grandmother-on-the-other-side Jean, Aunt Lydia, Julia (Erin's girlfriend), and tons of other female relatives whose names I will not bore you with, cooking away. They were making pasta salad, potato salad, lobster thingies, cheese pastries, punch, and caprese. Someone was slicing fresh bread in the corner. Julia and Aunt Barbara were building and icing what was to become a six layer wedding cake. My uncle was tying up little packets of bird seed for post-ceremony tossing. Amy and I joined in. It was SO beautiful and SO much fun! It was what weddings should be (but can't be for most people due to our lack of skillz and time). It was all of my cousin's relatives and friends gathering together to throw a big party to send her off on her own. And I got to stand around in the kitchen, pitting olives and talking to relatives I hadn't seen in some time while we prepared for the next day's feast.

Amy and I camped in my aunt's yard. I was a little too cheap to spring for a bed and breakfast. In the morning, we went down the driveway to pick blueberries for our cereal. After a lovely breakfast, Aunt Barbara set us to work picking lettuce from her garden for the salad. Becky (the bride), Amy and I sat out in the yard shredding the lettuce as the sun burned off the fog to reveal a gorgeous blue sky and perfect weather for the wedding. My next major task was to go tromping down into the tidal flats to pick flowers - bog heather, actually - for the bouquets. I collected some wild flowers, some blueberry bush branches, some fern, and a few lilies from Aunt B's garden and arranged them in bouquets for the bridesmaids. I did an awesome job.

The wedding itself was wonderful! If I ever get married, I'm going to see if Becky can hook me up with her preist(ess). Sam, Becky's stepbrother, did the music for the wedding. The tide came in and the veiw was incredible. Erin read a great ee cummings poem. I had been worried about my bridesmaid dress possibly not fitting in with the others since we had to attempt to coordinate the dresses via phone and e-mail (I scanned in the fabric of mine and e-mailed it to the others). But it went fine with the others! The reception was great fun, the food was wonderful, the cake didn't fall over. Eventually, the reception turned into an arm wrestling match. My family is full of older prim-and-proper-seeming women who like to shock people by doing completely improper things.

That night, "the cousins" (those of us who were all very close in age and shared many of the same friends in high school) stayed up all night talking together. My cousins are hilarious and I love them. I just had this incredible sense of belonging while I was with them - it's where I fit in. Most people who know me now think of me as being pretty quiet, but I'm really not. At least, not when I'm with my family or old friends. It takes me forever to warm up to people, but when I do, I'm quite outspoken. These are the people I think of when I think "family" - not my parents or my brother, but my cousins and Aunt Barbara. I think that someday, we'll all end up settling in the same area. I certainly hope so.

In the morning, we made blueberry pancakes. Aunt Barbara made sure that all of the guests who were leaving took a cooler full of leftovers and a peice of wedding cake. We all sat around and talked and laughed all morning. Aunt Barbara showed me how to spin yarn on her wheel and encouraged me to take weaving lessons.

Eventually, it was time to head out. Amy and I drove back, listening to "The Girl's Guide to Hunting and Fishing" on tape.

In the morning, she took me to my plane, and I headed back to Seattle. Though I was returning "home" I definitely felt homesick - not for Seattle, but for the East Coast. For Becky and Erin. For Aunt Barbara. For feeling understood. For feeling like I belong. For roadside farmer stands. For a place with history. For thunderstorms. For a New England autumn. The way we were living just made me so happy - the garden, picking blueberries for breakfast, just EVERYTHING about the lifestyle (even the outhouse and hand-pumped water). Maybe it all comes down to history. Having a history with people and being in a place with history. Maybe I draw my comfort from history. I miss it all so much. There is no doubt in my mind that I will end up back there someday. In the meantime, I feel well rested, better adjusted, and comforted in the thought that there are people out there with whom I feel like I belong.