Hoo boy! I am an emotional nut today! Lookout everyone.

First, I was in an excellent mood this morning after driving to work and listening to U.S.E.'s Emerald City (We love it, we love it - and I'm sure that about half of you - in particular those who have never heard of them - are sick of hearing that phrase from me, so I will hush now). But it put me in a great mood to start off the day. Also, during lunch, I got co-opted into a power walk with some people I don't hang out with so much at work. That was fun. I had to scarf down my sandwich at my desk though, which wasn't as much fun.

This evening was, once again, WHO IS GOING TO BE AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL!? If it wasn't an official event before, it certainly is one now. This particular episode wasn't nearly as entertaining as the other ones. It attempted to have substance. It was as if the producers had to put in one episode where they talked about all of the "issues" involved in modeling. They made sure that they got a cut of the judges talking about things like how Elyse is cool because she's smart and models are usually stereotyped as being dumb. And then another one talked about how Robyn was too fat and old to be a model - and then they discussed amongst themselves how not all models had to be stick thin. And of course, there was the whole does she or doesn't she have an eating disorder thing. I hope that next week they go back to the whole cat fight over moisturizer and false eyelashes again.

Jeff called again today - pretty much as soon as I got home. Every time he calls, I am honestly shocked that he is contacting me to hang out again. I was thinking that he just wanted to be friends, but now I'm starting to not be so sure. Actually, I'm even slightly amazed that he wants to be friends. I mean, yeah, I have a great time hanging out with him, but it just amazes me that he's having enough fun to want to hang out every week. Yadda yadda yadda low self esteem blah blah blah. But seriously, I think that if you were there, you would totally understand what I'm talking about. He kind of wants to hang out with a group of people, but I am REALLY REALLY awful at coming up with group activities.

Which sort of brings me to another subject that is weighing heavily on my mind... but I'm going to segue into it later via a different route...

Another super thing today - one of my "Favorite Music" artists (as seen in my profile) wrote in my guestbook! How many of you can claim to have one of your favorite musicians to have signed YOUR guestbook? Hmm? Ok, so it's cheating a little bit because she also happens to have been my roommate in college. But she really is a great musician. I highly recommend her. Go see Flora for yourself.

And then, of course, I ended up reading her journal a bit. She started ONE DAY before I started my journal here. Is that a coincidence or what? Reading it made me miss her so much! She's one of my very favorite people ever.

I'm also jealous that she can visit the old college folk so much more easily than I can. Most people are just a weekend trip away, if you live on the East Coast. Not so for me.

*segue segue segue segue segue*

And reading Flora's journal reminded me of all of the things that we used to do for fun back in college. Flora's journal is all full of fun things like doll making and stamps and crafty fun things like that - and I miss doing those things SO MUCH. And I miss JB SO MUCH - I haven't seen him since he was sleeping on my back porch here in Seattle in December of '98. I've been having trouble this week (and getting into trouble) because I haven't been able to think of ativities for groups of people. And I was thinking about it and I think it's because I am good at gathering people for are things like giant Capture the Flag games, Kick the Can, crafty nights, movie rentals, and road trips. I can't think of a damn thing to do in Seattle with a group of people on a week night. I've been responsible for organizing two nights and so far, i have come up with "bowling" both times. What is there to do at night that does not involve bars or bowling? And I mean a social activity - not theater or movies. And something that most people could enjoy that is not dependent upon your like or dislike of a band. I can't think of anything. Maybe I should organize a poker night or something. Canasta. Stitch and Bitch? I used to love getting together just for cards or a rented movie - but I don't do that much anymore. I should get Abby to teach me Cribbage again. Maybe if I just tried to organize those kinds of gatherings, they'd happen. But anyway, I went from thinking those thoughts to the idea that I don't really belong out here. I've had this thought before. And yes, I definitely do want to go back East (and North of Maryland somewhere). I LOVE Seattle, but I don't think I belong here. I wonder if I lived back east if I would find more people who I feel like I belong with - more people like Bookstore boy 2.

Ok, now here's a disclaimer - I get nostalgic like this a lot. I am nostalgic now for my college friends. I was nostalgic in college for my high school days, and I'm sure that in the future, I will be nostalgic for this WONDERFUL town. The grass is always greener.

If anyone has recommendations for a group activity on a Saturday night that does NOT involve: bars, clubs, food, bowling, or theaters, please write in my guestbook.