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Give me a quadruple, please. No, not bypass. // 2003-06-17


So John called up yesterday. His new girlfriend dumped him for another guy. She wasn't really his "girlfriend" yet, but they were seeing each other so much that he hasn't called me in like a month or so. At first, I thought he was calling for sympathy, but then it turned ugly. He was calling because he thought I'd be "happy" to hear it. Not happy as in I would think we could get back together - but happy as in I would be gleeful in his misfortune. I suggested maybe we could get together and maybe try to cheer him up sometime this week. He pretty much said that he didn't want to get together with me at all. He's a freak.

I've been an un-ending stream of negativity today. I don't know what's up with me. Maybe I was too happy over the weekend and I'm balancing out.

Hmmm... or it could be that I forgot my medecine today. No, I'm not on anti-depressants, but it does affect my mood a little. I spent the whole morning trying to "self-medicate" with disgusting amounts of caffeine and a little sugar for good measure, and I was wondering why I was craving a quadruple latte. Ah yes, because I forgot the medicine. I felt like my heart was going all slow.... ba....... dump.........ba.......dump. So I tried making myself breathe faster, but then I was just hyperventalating at work, and that just won't do. People look at you funny when you do that. There's no explaining away hyperventalating at your desk. No excuses at all.

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